Just Because I’m A Single Grandma Doesn’t Mean I’m A Nanny

4 min read

There was a time when the idea of being a “grandma” conjured images of soft cardigans and a calendar revolving around everyone else’s plans. Perhaps, more often than not, being “single” was also whispered with a slight tilt of the head—pity masquerading as politeness.

But those days are over.  For a growing number of mature women, happiness isn’t found in a granny nanny role or a partner-shaped puzzle piece. It’s found in the glorious, liberated middle ground of being both single and a grandma.

Redefining The Role Of Being A Single Grandma

Today’s single grandma might be up at 6am for a Pilates or Yoga class, not to make school lunches. She might be helping with homework in the afternoon, then heading off to Portugal for a long weekend.

Unlike the cultural script often handed to grandmothers, she’s redefining what this chapter looks like—with a sturdy Wi-Fi connection, a new project, and no one else’s dinner to cook. They aren’t willing to upend their life to centre their grandchildren.

“I love them deeply,” says Margaret, 66 years old, from Chester (UK), “but I wouldn’t compromise my own commitments to be their full-time caregiver—unless it was an emergency.”

It’s no surprise. After years of being everything to everyone—wife, mother, partner, career woman—many grandmas come to realize that retirement isn’t just about slowing down or stepping away from the hustle and bustle. Instead, it’s a time of freedom and discovery.

Living solo isn’t lonely; it’s a chance to fully embrace self-care, indulge in personal passions, and savor every moment. It’s not just a lifestyle change—it’s a great opportunity to create a sacred, peaceful space where they can truly thrive.

So when grandchildren arrive, the joy isn’t diluted by their demands—it’s pure, unfiltered connection. 

And let’s be clear: being a single grandma doesn’t mean you’ve given up on romance either. It just means you’re no longer defined by it. If someone delightful comes along, lovely. If not, there’s no void to fill—just space, sweet and self-owned.

Granny Nanny? Old Assumptions Never Die

Despite progress in gender equality, however, old cultural assumptions linger and for many single grandmas today, it’s like suddenly feeling boxed back into caretaking roles. 

The issue isn’t with grandparenting itself—it’s the assumption that every older woman must desire it, prioritize it, and do so without hesitation or complaint.

“It’s as if our identities are completely shaped by the role of caregiver,” says Jane, 67, from Manchester. “We’re expected to surrender our time, interests, and even our health for our grandchildren. But being a grandmother—and a woman—shouldn’t require sacrificing it all.”

This assumption isn’t just cultural—it’s political and economic.

According to The Guardian, childcare programs in many countries, especially the U.S. and UK, are chronically underfunded. Basically, grandmothers are expected to quietly fill the gap, often unpaid and unrecognized.

“In the UK alone, grandparents save families over £70 billion annually in unpaid childcare—writes journalist Adrienne Matei-contributions that support the broader economy but go unrecognized. Yet few pause to consider the cost to these women’s lives, autonomy, and aspirations”.

Breaking free from societal expectation

What society doesn’t want to consider is that today’s grandmas are navigating a landscape full of shifting roles.

They may find themselves balancing care, career, and creativity, all while fending off expectations to reprise a version of motherhood they thought they’d left behind. And for some, grandparenthood doesn’t bring the joy they were promised—it brings new emotional labor, stress, and even fractured friendships.

As Jane, 64 years old, a grandma from Liverpool puts it: “We’re not just here to raise the next generation, again and again. That’s not the only story available to us.”

Statements from public figures have only intensified this pressure. In a 2020 episode of The Portal podcast with Eric Weinstein, USA Vice President JD Vance claimed that the “purpose of the postmenopausal female” is to care for grandchildren—citing his mother-in-law taking a break from her career to raise his kids.

In reality, many “postmenopausal women” would prefer to see this stage as one of freedom—sipping menopause mocktails—rather than dedicating themselves to full-time caregiving.

“That idea is insane,” commented Stephanie, a 70 year retired teacher and grandmother of two from London. “I lead a rich life—mentoring women, painting, trekking. There are countless things I’d rather do than babysit full-time.”

Happiness Is A Single Grandma

In a world slowly waking up to more expansive definitions of family, purpose, and ageing, today’s single grandmas are quietly rewriting the narrative. They are choosing roles that feel right for them—not ones inherited by default.

“Being a single grandma brings a unique joy that’s all about freedom and fulfillment“, explains Greta, 66, a divorcée and retired executive from Manchester. “It’s the luxury of having time for myself to explore new hobbies, travel, or simply enjoy the peace and quiet. With or without a partner by my side, I know that I can embrace a new chapter of life with a sense of independence and self-love, finding joy in the little moments and celebrating the wisdom and experiences she’s gained along the way. It’s a chance to thrive on my own terms“.

Here’s to the grandmas who’ve embraced self-love and freedom with fierce passion. They know this is their time, and they’re determined to live it fully, without looking back.

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