Is flirting one of those things that should be left to the young? Absolutely not! There’s no reason why you should ever stop using your feminine wiles to make life just a little more fun, provided that you follow a handful of simple rules. Here’s what our lifestyle expert, Cheryl Grace recommends for women over 50.
Flirting! It’s not a dirty word, but often, the older we get, the further away we tend to grow from the idea of it. Especially the more successful we become. But here’s what you need to know: men love it when we embrace our inner girly-girl.
They love it when our feminine wiles are set free and we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and to have fun with them. If a fun, healthy, committed and monogamous relationship is what you’re after, honey, you are gonna HAVE to get your flirt on!
The easiest way to do that is by tapping into your five senses.
1) Eye contact
Making prolonged eye contact with a man you’re interested in can be one of the sexiest (and scariest) moves you can make. For some of us, midlife women, when we notice a man looking at us, we avert our eyes. We should do just the opposite. If you notice a man looking at you, try smiling and glancing back at him and holding that eye contact for two to three seconds. It may feel like a LIFETIME, but those few seconds demonstrate to him that you’re interested in him. After three seconds, glance away. This isn’t a stare-down like you used to have with your siblings when you all were younger to see who would blink first!
Glance away, then bring your eyes BACK to him, smile again, and hold his attention for another two to three seconds. By now, you should be feeling little butterflies in the pit of your stomach (we’re never too old to get butterflies.) And HE should be headed in your direction! The beauty about eye contact is that you never have to say a word. Your eyes do all the talking.
Try it out on strangers you aren’t interested in. It’s always easier to try something out on someone with whom you don’t feel you have anything to lose. That way, when the right Adonis who makes your heart beat faster comes into view, you’re ready to make eye contact with confidence.
When it comes to men, how we say what we say can be more important than what we’re actually saying. “Hello” can be reluctantly, grumpily, disgustedly, disdainfully, or engaging and welcoming. Which one would you most prefer to be greeted with? Umm … hmm, same with guys. They want to hear that you are excited to be around them, especially if they can hear it in your voice. Softening your voice when you speak to a guy isn’t about playing games with him. It’s about creating an atmosphere that feels calming and welcoming. I’m convinced you can get a man to do practically anything if you ask in just the right voice.
Many women in long-term relationships or marriages forget the small act of speaking to their guy with kindness. Instead of extending invitations to engage in an activity, they bark out orders: “Clean out the garage! Take out the trash! Hand over the remote! “
When you put a little smile into the request and throw in a compliment to boot, like: “Hey, Hercules, on your way out could you take out the trash please?” your guy will be putty in your hands. Try it!
This flirting technique should come with a warning label: try it only on someone with whom you hope to move toward a more intimate relationship. THAT’S how powerful a brief touch on the shoulder, arm, leg or even nose can be! Play footsy underneath the table. Squeeze his bicep when you mention how strong he is. These are all gentle, easy-touching techniques that could lead to big results. So use this one with care, ladies!
There’s nothing better than a man who smells delicious unless it’s a man who knows you think he smells delicious! Likewise, there are so many ways to a man’s heart through his olfactory system. This sensory system can be ignited by your home cooking, the perfume you wear, and even how your car smells (men love the smell of cars that smell clean or like new.)
This is such an easy task – but be careful not to overdo it. Cloying perfumes can be a turnoff. So test out new smells on someone you trust to tell you the truth before you give your scent a spin with a new guy!
How delightful is it when a man you’re interested in repeats something back to your days, weeks or even months after you’ve said it? It points to how much he valued what you had to say and that he LISTENED to you in the first place! You can use this same superpower on your guy.
Pay attention to what he says, then follow up with a random act of specificity about those words later. Maybe he shared that he likes a certain drink, and you have it waiting for him when he arrives at the restaurant where you’re having dinner on your first date. Maybe he mentioned that his deceased mother’s birthday is on a certain date, and you call him on that day to check in on him. Active listening – listening to hear what is being said vs. listening to determine what you should say next – is one of the most undervalued soft skills we can employ. Try listening to your guy and see if it doesn’t make a difference in how he reacts to you.
With a bit of time and attention, you can master any and all of these easy-to-implement flirting techniques that use your five senses. The more you smile as you test-drive your man, the greater your results.
Flirting works. But you must be confident enough to even give it a try. Don’t take the situation too seriously and be sure to enjoy it. You’ll get a mood boost and could benefit even more in the future.