One simple thing you can do this Summer (apart from enjoying your holidays) is self-reflect.
You might have already taken time to update your wardrobe or declutter your home in your free time, meditate or read a good book but how about taking action on the energy vampires in your life, too?
Life is too short to waste your time with toxic people who exploit you and who are unable to share the spotlight.
They abound in the workplace, in our families, and in our social circles. They might be those relatives who keep you hours on the phone discussing about their problems, the colleague who keeps going on a presentation just for the sake of proving his/her point, the drama-queen friend who always shifts the attention of the discussion to herself monopolizing your time at every social occasion.
Those naysayers and negative souls (someone who consciously or unconsciously evokes unpleasant emotions in others) are the ones who have the ability to make you feel always drained, exhausted and overwhelmed.
Are you willing to keep up with their behaviour for the rest of the year (or – even worse – the rest of your life)?
Of course, it’s not easy to spot them and eliminate them from your life completely, but recognising the way vampires use others’ energy to fuel their own dysfunctional lives may be a chance for you to dodge their tactics and take back your own energy.
In “Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Evading Relationships That Drain You and Restoring Your Health and Power“, Christiane Northrup, M.D. a visionary pioneer and a leading authority in the field of women’s health and wellness, explores the phenomenon of energy vampires and shows us how we can spot them.
They are often the ones with some drama going on. Things never seem to go right in their lives and they need you to feel bad for them (the Victim). At times they want you to do things in their way – the only and best possible one (the Controller), more often they don’t take responsibility for themselves, hoping you fan their ego (the Narcissist) by showering them with empathy. They may be charming or charismatic, and it’s probably someone else’s fault when something goes wrong.
In the end, some people refuse to accept responsibility for their own emotional maturity but that isn’t our burden to bear. Basically, as we can’t fix an energy vampire, we can work on reshaping our expectations about them, blocking their attacks by establishing healthy boundaries.
“If it’s an ex-spouse who you still need to communicate with (perhaps if you have children) — says Christiane Northrup- communicate as little as possible and use technology to your advantage, she adds. Text or use a messaging app, rather than making plans over the phone“.
Another good tactic is being too tired for them. Northrup calls this strategy “broken wing.”
“When an energy vampire tries to bend your ear, tell them you feel under the weather or really tired. They will go to another source immediately – Northrup says. They do not want to be around somebody who doesn’t have the energy to give back.”
Unfortunately, garlic won’t ward off these energy vampires and playing the role of a therapist won’t help you. All you need is to work on your strengths and keep your distance or they will keep sucking you dry of energy, leaving you with nothing but exhaustion.
If you can’t avoid them, limit interactions by saying something like “Thanks for your input, I’ll think about it,” or say “no” nicely and just keep moving. You can still be a loving, compassionate person and still stick up for yourself.
Your Summer (and seasons ahead) will look much brighter.