Who Said Men Age More Gracefully?

A few months ago, I was at a dinner party when someone complimented a mutual friend — a man in his early 60s — on his “distinguished salt-and-pepper look.” The room nodded approvingly. “He’s so cool and ageing so gracefully,” someone added, almost wistfully. Then, not ten minutes later, I overheard someone whisper that a woman at the same table, just a year older, “really should consider coloring her hair again.”

I wish I could say I was surprised. We’ve all been there — seen it, felt it, maybe even internalized it. This strange cultural rule that men somehow get better with age, while women are expected to defy it. It’s not just unfair; it’s misleading.

Yes, it’s a stereotype that men age “better” than women, and while there is some biology behind where that idea started, it doesn’t justify the myth that men somehow ‘win’ at ageing.

First, collagen—the protein responsible for skin’s elasticity—declines with age. Men lose it slowly and steadily; women retain more until menopause, when collagen plummets. This sudden drop can make ageing in women appear more abrupt compared to the gradual aging of men. Biologically, it explains the perception, not any real “grace”.

But biology isn’t destiny. Consider other differences: women generally live longer—more commonly reaching 100—have younger brain ages, and visit doctors more often, leading to earlier detection and prevention of disease. Men, meanwhile, often engage in more heavy manual labor, leading to increased wear-and-tear—possibly ageing them faster in some physical ways .

The real scientific breakthroughs are even more compelling. A recent study from UCSF (University Of California – San Francisco) found that women possess a “silent” second X chromosome that reawakens later in life, reactivating genes that protect brain health—insulating neural fibers and preserving cognition. That’s resilience, not just “good ageing.”

And honestly, if you really want proof of how women are thriving as we age, come with me to the gym. I go regularly — and I see more women than men. Women in their 50s, 60s, even 70s — lifting weights, spinning, stretching, sweating with intention. These are not women trying to chase youth. They are women investing in their strength, their energy, their health. I see more women looking after themselves — physically, mentally, and emotionally — than most of the men their age.

That’s not vanity, that’s vitality.

So do men age more gracefully? Not really

Ageing isn’t a competition, genetics and hormones set the stage—but lifestyle, nutrition, self-care, and purposeful living are the starring roles.Let’s retire this tired myth. Ageing isn’t defined by collagen loss or a graying beard. It’s defined by how we lead our lives—our humor, our habits, our health, our heart.

The idea that “men age more gracefully” is a relic — a leftover from a time when men were judged by their achievements and women by their appearance.  What people really mean when they say men age better is that men are allowed to age. They’re given space to gray, to wrinkle, to change — without being made to feel like they’re fading. Women, meanwhile, are told to “fight” age at every turn, as if growing older were something to apologize for.

But we know better. We’ve earned every laugh line, every silver strand, every layer of wisdom. We’re choosing how to age — whether that means embracing the gray, dyeing it purple, running marathons, writing memoirs, or dancing barefoot in the kitchen.

So no, men do not age more gracefully. Women are ageing honestly, intentionally, gloriously and we’re doing it in full view of the world, on our own terms. We’re not trying to age like men. We’re ageing like us.

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