Support groups are all the rage right now. If the club “Women Who Love to Entertain in Spite of Their Scrooge Husbands” is ever formally organized, then there will be members all over the world.
But don’t worry, for all those midlife women who would like to throw a party this holiday but happen to be married to Ebenezer, there is still hope.
Whether you care about saving your sanity, your holiday spirit, or your marriage, you still have a chance to be crowned “Best Holiday Hostess of 2022″ by following these quick tips.
Be proactive in sharing the extent to which you will decorate
You can say, “Honey, I am going to decorate the yard beginning at the curb all the way through, past and beyond the backyard, including every inside inch of the house with a total of 20,000 lights and ornaments, beginning the day after Thanksgiving.” This will save you from having to repeatedly answer the question: “How crazy are you going to get with the decorations this year?”
Reveal the budget details and savings
“I’ll be spending about $3,000 of our hard-earned money on things like decorations, gifts, food, alcohol, and multiple fruitcakes, so expect a higher grocery bill, and electric bill and to see our Amazon delivery man much more frequently in the next few weeks. But we’re Prime members, so we’ll at least be saving $5 on delivery.” This will prevent you from having to hide packages throughout the house or waiting until he falls asleep to sneak them in.
Pair the guest list with drinks and other vices he loves
“We’ve got three parties planned, dear. For my family, including Aunt Gertie who RSVP’d while leaving last year’s party, we’ll be serving that Kentucky bourbon you love so much. Don Julio Tequila and imported Cuban cigars are on tap for your work buddies’ mixer. And while the book club ladies are sipping on their Bloody Marys and martinis, I’ve got a special mixologist coming in to make you and the husbands a Moscow Mule you’ll never forget.”
Don’t talk about the events in front of him
When one of your unknowing, unsuspecting or always tragically messy girlfriends attempts to bring up your plans while hubby is in the room, simply shake your head discreetly and mouth the words “Later” to her.
If she doesn’t pick up on the cue, change the subject by asking her:
A) how her mother-in-law is doing;
B) how her granddaughter reacted to getting her period for the first time
C) how bad her hot flashes have been lately.
One of these questions is bound to make your guy go running from the room, clutching his hands over his ears.
Tell him the truth
If all of this fails, you could simply be straight: “I enjoy celebrating and entertaining this time of year, and doing so brings harm to no one, including you. I recognize how blessed we are. I like making other people happy with the gift of food, fellowship, and fun, and entertaining brings me joy, which is what the season is all about. Your support – minus any negative side comments, harrumphing, or Scrooge-like behaviour – would greatly be appreciated.”
Above all, enjoy your holidays without guilt. At our age, anything short of that is a travesty.