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The Heartbeat Of Midlife | CrunchyTales

5 Shades of Hot Flashes

2 min read

Sometimes Summer can be a bit of a minefield. It’s not the teenagers with their questionable music blaring from pool floats (although that’s a whole other story). It’s the relentless sun, the humidity that clings to you like a stalker ex, and the granddaddy of them all: the hot flash.

I don’t know about you, but since the temperatures have soared, I’ve spent my days – and especially nights- dealing with unbearable hot flashes and night sweats so much so that I decided to make the most of my endless and sleepless nights by doing some personal research.

The outcome? Not all hot flashes are created equal.

Although we all know that a hot flash is an intense feeling of heat that comes on suddenly, what happens to your face, neck, and chest is very personal.

Here are some takes on those unpredictable moments that I’ve filed under the voice “5 shades of hot flashes“. 

1. The Smolder: This is the “subtle” flush. You feel a warmth creeping up your neck like a rogue tea cosy escaped its teapot. It’s a gentle reminder that you’re a walking furnace, perfect for browsing the freezer aisle at the grocery store. 

2. The Inferno: This one hits you like a rogue wave. Suddenly, you’re sweating like you just ran a marathon in a wool sweater. Fantastic for melting away those stubborn ice cube trays, or (if you’re feeling creative) whipping up a batch of impromptu face mist. Think of it as a free spa treatment, courtesy of Mother Nature.

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3. The Disco Ball: This is the “accompanied by chills” flush. First, you’re a human bonfire, then you’re shivering like a chihuahua in a blizzard. It’s nature’s built-in disco effect, guaranteed to keep you on your toes (or frantically searching for a sweater). Think of it as cardio – your body’s way of keeping things interesting.

4. The Dragon Slayer: This, my friends, is the one where you fantasize about becoming a human air conditioner. You grab every fan in sight, strategically position yourself near open windows, and wage war against anything remotely resembling a heat source. This is your inner warrior emerging, ready to conquer the elements (or at least get a decent night’s sleep).

5. The Phoenix: Now, this is where the magic happens. You emerge from the ashes of your hot flash, slightly singed but surprisingly resilient. You’ve battled the heat, embraced the weird, and emerged (hopefully) with a newfound appreciation for a cool breeze. You are a Phoenix, my friend, reborn stronger and slightly more sparkly (thanks to that surprise sweat).

Which one seems the most familiar to you?

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