Everyone’s life consists of challenges and situations that, just like a puzzle, come together to shape who we are and how we present ourselves. But what if our life puzzle is not complete?
In midlife, many women realise there is still a missing piece in their life, an important one that could make them whole and complete. It could be something to solve, something to achieve, something to make peace with.
A few women will eventually find it, some might take more time, patience and effort, to complete it and find all of those missing pieces and then place them where they belong, while others may have to come to terms with the idea they will probably never be able to complete the puzzle the way they want to.
That lost piece is unattainable for several reasons beyond their control.
I’m not talking about getting a bigger house, a Gucci wardrobe or a great bikini body. Sometimes, what we miss the most in our life is something a bit more complex: the carefree youth we weren’t able to experience, the partner or the family we weren’t able to have, the career we didn’t get despite our talents and skills. And that, in most cases, will cause us frustration, disappointments, stress, resentments, and even depression.
What can we do to fill in that gap in our life puzzle?
A way psychologists suggest to put up with this emptiness is to fix certain things in our life. Whether it’s rearranging our priorities or learning to focus on the things that now matter the most in our lives, the best way to cope with these uncomfortable feelings is learning how to accept what we can’t change.
Acceptance is an active process. It doesn’t mean that you can’t work on changing things and that what you’re accepting will be that way forever. But by struggling against reality—resisting and rejecting it—we only create unnecessary additional suffering and pain.
“Radical acceptance is all about fully accepting your reality in situations that are beyond your control. This doesn’t mean you approve of the situation, are giving up, or that it isn’t painful“, explains experts at Mental Health America. “You are still allowed to (and should!) feel however you feel, but by accepting that it is what it is, you give the problem less power over you and you can begin to move forward“.
Life can be explained in many ways, but at the end of the day, each and every one of us experience it in our own way. If you feel your life is incomplete and not worth celebrating because of that missing piece, know that the most thrilling artworks in the world are those that are unfinished.